


Our First Kiss

by horrorsmeltaway



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Fluff, M/M, destiels first kiss, its actually kinda cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-12 17:26:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28639245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/horrorsmeltaway/pseuds/horrorsmeltaway
Summary: set in season five, shortly before the events of the finale (5.22).dean confesses to castiel because he thinks it may be his last chance to.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 1
Kudos: 30





	Our First Kiss

dean stood outside the motel room, light rain dampening his worn jacket. a cold breeze blew past him, his cheeks turning a soft pink. he pulled his jacket tighter around him. he looked up at the pale stars. how could they still shine? didn't they know it was all about to come crashing down? he exhaled shakily.

a lonely tear ran down his cheek and he quickly wiped it away. sam could do this, he had to. but what if he couldn't? what if lucifer was too strong? what if michael tore him to pieces? dean couldn't bear the thought. should he have said yes? would things have been easier? no, no of course not. he was far too weak to fight off michael's possession. his soul would disintegrate the second the archangel took control. sam was stronger, much stronger, than he was. he could pull this off.

they could die tomorrow.

dean, sam, bobby, _cas _.__

____

____

oh, cas.

dean bit his lip. cas couldn't die. he couldn't. not again. not before dean could tell him. he should've told him a long time ago. last year maybe. but dean hadn't known then, not really. truthfully, he was still unsure. but he was running out of time. he had no choice.

stepping further out into the rain, he closed his eyes. he brought his hands together. "cas... cas if you can hear this, please come to me. please." his voice was soft, hushed, _scared _. cas would come right? he had to. he always did.__

____

____

dean heard a quiet whoosh. he looked up, eyes opening to see cas standing a few feet away from him. his lips curled ever so slightly. he was beautiful wasn't he? always pretty in the moonlight. facial features so gently carved, as if he were god's most elegant statue. lips a delicate dusty pink, skin pale and clear, eyes strikingly blue. it was as if they had been modeled after entire galaxies.

"hello dean." his voice was low, gravelly as always. "where's sam?" he tilted his head. dean's not listening. his heart's pounding in his chest. he can hear his blood in his ears, his cheeks are flush, and he can't stop staring at cas's plump, pale lips. he bunches the soft material of his jacket in his hands.

"dean?" their eyes meet. deep azure ocean waves crashing over lush green fields. dean's features soften as he looks at him. he's overthinking. it's just cas. he steps toward him.

"cas..." he can't meet his focused eyes, biting his lip as he stares at the ground. why is it so hard to talk all of a sudden? why is his gaze so piercing? he's overthinking again. the clock is ticking. just talk to him.

"cas, you mean so much to me," he meets the angel's gaze, "and i'm sorry i don't say it. i just, i'm not good with words, you know? of course you know." he pauses, glancing up at the sky before returning his eyes to cas's. his expression is emotionless, confusion dancing across his face.

"i uh," he clears his throat, "i've changed a lot since i met you. i know it doesn't seem like it but i've.. i've learned to put faith into things i don't understand. my entire world view and perspective has shifted because of _you _." dean paused to collect himself. cas was silent, but he never took his eyes off of him.__

____

____

"i don't know what i would do without you. you keep me grounded. i... i need you, cas." he swallowed. why was he dancing around what he really wanted to say? why was it so hard? what was holding him back?

cas blinked slowly at him. was he even listening? did he- _could _he understand? why hadn't he said anything?__

____

____

just say it.

"i love you." dean sort've blurted out. his words were rushed, but he hoped the sentiment was still there. he'd never said that out loud before; hell he'd barely been able to admit it to himself.

cas's silence was deafening. terrifying.

of course dean understood. cas was an angel, no one had ever told him they loved him, how could dean expect him to understand? emotions, feelings, they were a completely new concept to him. he probably didn't even understand what dean meant by that, not really, how could h-

"i think i love you too."

what?

dean's eyes widened as he looked at castiel, lips parted in shock. had he heard correctly? no, surely cas misspoke. they blinked at each other. the angel softened his eyes, his gaze gentle and accepting. he always knew just the right way to comfort dean. he was perfect.

dean's overthinking again. he steps closer to him. mere inches were left between them. three, maybe four. no matter. they've never seemed to understand the concept of personal space anyway.

did cas always smell this good? mm, like freshly baked apples, a hint of cinnamon beneath it all. not overwhelmingly sweet or strong, just enough to get your attention. just enough for dean to notice.

dean can feel his palms getting damp with sweat. his heart is pounding so hard in his chest he's afraid it might burst. he can feel the butterflies beating their colorful wings against his stomach walls. he'd already said it. why was this still so difficult?

he met cas's eyes. they were warm, inviting. dean crumbled.

quickly, he pressed his lips to castiel's. it was just a light peck. testing the waters. they blinked at each other. dean's heart began beating impossibly faster and he felt dizzy. he looked at cas with big, hopeful eyes. pleading.

despite his confusion and lack of experience, he understood the implications. he places his hand on dean's shoulder- _the _shoulder- and kisses him back. a real, proper kiss. it's soft and warm. as if they're holding back.__

____

____

dean's arms remain tight against his sides, like he's squeezing himself. his hands are balled into fists. why is he so tense? why is he so afraid to touch cas? he isn't going to break. you can't break what's already broken.

they pull apart, an inch between their bodies. cas finds dean's eyes, softening his gaze. his eyes were always dark, deep, and so unreadable. now, though, they were calm. tender. open. what had he been hiding all this time?

"dean, it's okay. i believe i understand." he nods slightly, reassuring the hunter. how was he so good at this? why was he better than dean? how was this so easy for him? who had he been practicing with?

if only dean could understand. if only he knew.

he looks at cas for a few seconds too long. he takes a deep breath, gingerly placing a hand on castiel's hip. his fingers barely brush the fabric of his suit. this was new. this was so unbelievably scary. why was he so afraid to touch him?

cas, without saying a word, places his other hand atop dean's. his skin is soft and so warm. dean immediately eases, tensions melting away. the moment they shared together now felt more intimate than their first kiss. dean is so much more vulnerable now.

dean looks at cas. he smiles at him; small, kind, reassuring. he nods slightly. he always knows how to calm dean down. always. how did he understand him so well?

regaining some of his confidence, he kisses castiel again. the angel's lips are so pliable. warm and gentle. he tastes of beer, but that's okay. dean does too.

they pull away a few moments later. they look at each other, dissolving into the other's touch. dean hums a low "mm," as he admires cas again. the angel interlocks their fingers. dull moonlight falls over their features. rain drizzles down onto them. maybe things would be okay. maybe dean could live long enough to feel this way again.

the world was ending and _this _is what he had been afraid of?__

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading my work, i appreciate it so much! this is my first time posting to ao3, so i apologize for any formatting issues  
> please leave kudos and/or comments! i love receiving feedback on my writing  
> take care of yourself,  
> \- author


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